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Your Brain on Porn - Gary Wilson
I think this book could help a lot of people.
I didn’t know that there were so many physical and psychological problems associated with high-speed hardcore pornography - and that high-speed aspect seems to be the real source of the problem, which is well explained in the book.
The title is a little bit misleading in my opinion, because although Wilson does cover the neurological changes and explains them very simply, most of the book is actually about the real people who are dealing with this problem, the physical and mental problems they’ve encountered both in use and in quitting, and the strategies they used to quit.
But since it focuses on the humans involved, rather than purely on the science (which is sorely lacking in general, not the fault of this book), it is a very useful guide for someone who needs to understand this problem and overcome it.
The book is mostly about young guys and men, but it does touch on the female side slightly - though this appears to be primarily a male problem at the moment.
I’ve warned myself not to get too personal in this review, but I definitely noticed this problem first by dating younger girls, the so-called “digital natives”, who had access to high-speed internet in their developmental years.
These digital natives seemed to have extremely distorted views about healthy sex, and about themselves - I.e. they think they need to act like pornstars to please a guy. Of course this goes the other way as well, with guys having distorted views of what females and sex is supposed to be. I do wish the book went more into this, but it is more of a footnote as the book is more about the personal dysfunctions that are caused by porn addiction, rather than the challenges it presents to relationships.
There are not many books in this genre as this is a very new phenomena, but this book seems to be an excellent starting point for understanding and overcoming this problem.
Many, many young guys have reached out to me about this problem in recent years, and thankfully the “NOFAP” movement has gained serious traction. I didn’t have much advice to give these guys, but now I can recommend this book.
Women should also understand this problem, even if they don’t watch porn themselves - chances are, the men they are interested in DO. I know several women who refuse to date a guy that watches porn, but I think it would be better to understand the problem more thoroughly, so they can help and relate to the majority of guys who are trapped in it - rather than restricting themselves to those who already abstain.
I’m sure there are plenty of good guys who are trapped in this addiction, and they shouldn’t be completely cast aside. Having been a drug addict myself, I know that it is possible to get out of it and become a much better person in the process. Your knight in shining armor might be caught in this right now, and that isn’t enough cause to write them off, in my opinion. Both genders should work together on conquering this problem.